


Drunk.

by lavenderhoneymndes



Category: Shawn Mendes (Musician)
Genre: Angst, Domestic Fluff, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Flirting, Drunkenness, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Morning After, Sleepy Cuddles, Toxic Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-18 10:41:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28741908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderhoneymndes/pseuds/lavenderhoneymndes
Summary: badboy!shawn calls you late at night and you answer like you always do.
Relationships: Shawn Mendes & Reader, Shawn Mendes/Original Female Character(s), Shawn Mendes/Reader, Shawn Mendes/You
Kudos: 3





	Drunk.

“Honey…” Shawn slurs into the phone and your heart nearly breaks. 

Your heart stops at the sound of his voice. The last time you’d heard it, it was laced with venom saying words that cut through you like knives. 

_ “Just leave.”  _

_ “I don’t want to see you.”  _

_ “I don’t want you here.”  _

But now you could hear something else you couldn’t quite put your finger on, but it put you on edge. The thought crossed your mind to not say a word, in hopes that he’d hang up. Or maybe you’d hang up first and pretend you’d never gotten the call in the first place but you were never one to go with your gut, if you had you wouldn’t even be in the position you are in now. 

“Shawn...” 

“How - what are you doing right now?” He mumbles into the phone. You hadn’t a clue how many drinks he’s had, but if he’s calling you then you know it must have been a rough night. 

“Shawn where are you?” you asked. Why you were concerned, you couldn’t figure out, but the idea of him being in as bad of shape as he was wandering around or somewhere where he could get himself into trouble worried you. 

“I’m- I’m home. But I miss you.” 

“Shawn go to sleep.”

“No. Not without you. I can’t without you, it’s too hard.” He whines petulantly.

“Just - can you drink some water? Can you do that for me?” 

“Can you come here?” 

“Shawn I can’t.” 

“Sure you can. You just don’t want to. Because I’m bad. I’m a bad person” 

Of course, you want to go to him. You want to go to his place cuddle him up and nurse him back to sobriety, but it's a terrible idea for the both of you. The back and forth between you needed to stop, and since it seemed as though he was incapable of thinking of anyone other than himself you were going to have to be the one to their foot down. You couldn’t see him. If you did then you’d be dragged back into the cycle. 

“You’re not bad Shawn.” 

“Yes, I am. If I wasn’t then you’d be here right now. But you’re not.” there's a long silence between the two of you before you barely make out a whisper, “You’re so far away.” 

“Shawn. You’re very drunk.” you sigh. You kept telling yourself that he didn’t mean it, no matter how much he was tugging at your heartstrings, none of it meant anything. He was drunk and for some reason thought that it was a good idea to call you but none of this meant anything. He wouldn’t even remember in the morning and he’d go back to pushing you away….until he wants you again. 

“I am. I also miss you. Anything else you want to point out?” he hisses into the phone, and he immediately regrets it rushing with apologies, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, please don’t hang up. I didn’t mean that.” 

“I’m not going to hang up.” You sigh rubbing at your temple. 

Why were you still entertaining this? All you had to do was hit the little red button on your phone and he would go away. Just like he wanted. But here you are. 

“I’m sorry for what I said.” He 

“I know you are.” 

“I mean it.” 

“I know you do bub.” The nickname slips out, and you flinch and you tense up biting your lip. 

There’s a long pause on the other end and for a moment you think he hung up until you hear him sigh into the phone, “Can you come over. Please.” he asks suddenly a little soberer. 

You pull your phone away from your ear looking at the time, it’s late but it’s not terribly late, and no matter how much you wanted to pretend like he no longer had an effect on you, there was no point in lying to yourself. 

“Yeah, okay.” 

“Really?” He quips, voice a little lighter. 

“Yeah. I’ll be over in twenty.” 

** …..….. **

You’re standing on his doorstep for about a minute, reminding yourself that at any time you can leave. You could turn around get back in your car and go home and forget all about Shawn Mendes, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do you. Hesitantly you raise your fist up knocking on the door lightly hoping not to wake the rest of his roommates. There’s a little bit of clattering before Shawn’s clumsily opening the door for you, leaning against the frame with a dopey grin on his face. 

“You’re here.” 

“I told you I’d be didn’t I.,” you say giving him a sad smile. He was in bad shape. Hair a mess, eyes bloodshot, with dark circles underneath, and a fresh cut on his cheek. You raise your hand up, turning his head to the side to get a better look at the wound “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” 

You take his hand, and he follows behind you as you make your way to his bedroom. You set him down on his bed, and he plops down his hands going straight to your waist pulling you in close as you stand in between his legs. You run your fingers through his hair, and he leans into your touch letting out a contented sigh. “I’ll be right back,” you say pulling yourself away from him. 

You head into the bathroom, rummaging through his bathroom cabinet trying to find the supplies needed to clean up his face, and you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. You didn’t look much better than him, your hair just as a mess, eyes just as bloodshot, and the same pained look behind your eyes. 

_ What were you doing? _ _ What is it about this boy that’s got you running to him at all hours of the night to take care of him? Didn’t you deserve better than this?  _

You come back into the room and see him laying down on the bed. 

“Up for a second, please,” you say tapping his knee. He lets out a little groan but follows your instructions, “It’s going to sting a little.” you warn beginning to clean him up. Any other night you would have asked him what he’d gotten himself into, who he’d pissed off but it would probably only end with a fight, so you didn’t. 

“Thank you,” he whispers to you, and you just nod your head knawing at your lip. “I really am sorry.” 

“You don’t have to apologize. Let’s just get you in bed, yeah?” you reply, almost robotically. This is your routine, you’ve done it all before. The drunken apologies and you just have to smile and nod and wait for him to sober up, just for him to be his normal emotionally unavailable self in the morning. 

You lean down and help him take off his boots and once you do he stands stipping down to his boxers, and it's not that it’s something you haven't seen before, but now it felt like an invasion of privacy. Like you’ve lost the right to see one other in such away. You catch yourself staring and decide it’s time for some hangover prep. So you go down to the kitchen, getting a glass of water and some crackers, and finding some pain killers to set next to his bed. 

“You’re all set. I think I should go.” 

“No,” He complains from where he’s layed in bed, “stay with me.” 

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Shawn.” 

“I know it’s not, and I know I don’t deserve it. But please stay.” He asks suddenly a lot more sober than he’d been since you walked in. And it’s embarrassing just how easy it was for you to change your mind. 

“Okay.” 

He pulls his covers to the side, allowing you to scoot in next to him. You lay back against the pillows, and Shawn is quick to take comfort in you, laying his head on your chest. It throws you off how comfortable he is wrapping himself around you, and you hesitate for a movement before you sink into the pillows wrapping your arms around him in return. 

** …..….. **

The sun peaking through the blinds is what wakes you the next morning. You had almost forgotten where you were as if the events of the night before never happened. But soon the familiar scent of Shawn’s cologne filled your senses and there was no denying where you were. Your stomach did somersaults at the realization, but as you turned over finding Shawn's side of the bed empty you started the think of an escape plan. But as you went through it all in your head, something came over you and decided not to run. Running is what’s gotten you in this situation in the first place. You needed to face him, to deal with whatever mess is to come. 

So you got yourself relatively presentable and made your way out of the bedroom to find Shawn’s shirtless back to you over the stove. You take a seat at the island and he doesn’t seem to notice you, too focused on what he’s doing so you awkwardly cleared your throat hoping that it’d do the trick, and it does. 

“Morning,” he says with a small smile, before turning back around plating a pancake. 

“Good morning.”

“I figured I’d make you breakfast. As a thank you, I don’t remember much about last night but, um….I feel like an apology is in order.” 

“Shawn- no it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. I’m sorry you came all the way over here. And you definitely didn’t need to spend the night so - thanks.” 

“It’s no big deal Shawn really.” He doesn’t argue with you anymore, just gives you a sad smile, and shakes his head fondly. “What?” 

“You’re just always so self-less. I will never understand you.” 

“I’m not self-less.” you scoff shaking your head. 

“Yes you are,” he says firmly. “The last time I saw you….” 

“We don’t have to talk about it.” 

“Yes, we do. Because the last time we spoke I said some awful, vile things.” 

“Shawn really it’s -” 

“No! No it’s not fine.” he snaps, before letting out a deep breath, “Why do you do that? Why do you keep making excuses for me?” 

“I don’t - I don’t know.” 

“I was awful to you. I said awful things and then I call you, blackout drunk and you come over. Not only that, but you spend the night when I ask, and you want to tell me that you’re selfless.” 

“I just don’t want you to hurt Shawn that’s all.” 

“Even after everything, I put you through.” 

“Yeah. Even after everything. I wish I didn’t care so much, believe me, my life would be much easier, but I can’t help it.” 

He looks at you with sad eyes and sets a plate down in front of you with pancakes and some bacon. He comes around the counter and takes a seat next to you, 

“You’re not eating?” you ask 

“Nah, I’m not hungry. Just wanted to do something for you,” he says through a sad smile. “Go ahead, eat.” he encourages, and you pick up your fork and dig in. 

You eat in relative silence for a few moments unsure of what to say next. In all your time together, whatever your relationship was, Shawn seldom did anything like this for you. He would do things for you sure, but they always ended up leading to him asking for a favor, and it always felt like he was making a deal rather than trying to do something nice. So you sat and waited for the other shoe to drop, for him to say something to ruin the nice gesture. 

But it doesn’t come. He lets you finish your food in peace, and then when you finish, he cleans up for you. 

“I should probably get going.”

There was a flash of disappointment on Shawn’s face but he knew better. He knew what this was for you and he knew he’d be stupid to think that you’d see it anything other than a mistake. 

“Yeah- yeah. Of course.”

You go to collect your things that you’d haphazardly dropped onto the small living room couch the night before, but Shawn stops you. 

“Actually, wait.” you look up at him and it’s like the first time you ever were together alone all over again. You were nervous, heart pounding in your chest butterflies in your stomach. You wanted to run, but you also needed to hear what he had to say. “I don’t want you to go.”

“Shawn.” 

“Not without you hearing this. I just - I want to fix this. I know I don’t deserve it. I know that I’m a piece of shit and I put you through hell-”

“You did.” 

“Yeah. I did. And words can’t describe how sorry I am for it. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t.” 

“No, you can’t.” 

“But,” he takes a step closer to you taking your hands in his and your heart rate picks up, “I can do everything I can to make it up to you.” He says quietly, “If you let me. Please.” 

Everything in you is screaming ‘NO!’. But the heart wants what the heart wants, or so they say. 

“Okay.” 

Shawns eyes lit up, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He had to have been dreaming. Everything he’s ever wanted, a second chance with you, was just granted just like that? It couldn’t be. “Okay?” 

“Yeah. You can make it up to me. But Shawn, you fuck up and I’m gone.” 

“Yes. I - okay. I won’t fuck up. I promise. “ 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.". 


End file.
